7 Reasons Retiring to a Blank Slate is a Terrible Idea
There is something so attractive about a “fresh start”. We’re filled with optimism, there’s a pep in our step, and the possibilities are boundless. This lasts for a whole… oh, I don’t know… 5 minutes, before we can easily begin a dizzying spiral downward.
While I’m a proponent of new beginnings (and certainly a proponent of optimism!)
I’m going to highlight some not so commonly shared pitfalls of this Blank Slate narrative.
I purposely don’t mince my words here as it’s critical that clients approaching a big life change such as Retirement understand the importance of vision and preparedness.
A blank slate elicits a view that’s clear and empty. Not a speck on it. Again, while this may feel “fresh”, for transitions as large as changing your entire Occupational structure (retirement), this clear and empty space is a canvas for mistakes that needn’t be made.
Let’s explore.
You Will Be Grieving What You Had
The grief will vary depending on your closeness with your colleagues and your level of engagement with workload. It’s wise to acknowledge the very real loss and leave yourself some space to let the various feelings arrive. You are gaining much with freedom in retirement. And, yet, you are losing much. What makes sadness more difficult? No purpose to pour into. Help yourself by having some defined projects or people you know you can serve in the initial weeks following retirement so the the darkness of loss and the thought of, “I’m not needed anymore” does not loom large.
Decision Overwhelm
Have you ever had a wide open Saturday with nothing on it that you had to do? Did you get to the evening and look back thinking, “Wow, I had all this time and I barely did a single productive thing?” When we’re met with many options - with no clear priority on where to start - choosing a single first step can often prove exhausting and overwhelming. This is not how we want to start out week one of retirement! You can combat this by defining your values and priorities. With clarity, your days and weeks will take shape and you won’t be overwhelmed with the options and choices.
Your Default is a Slippery Slope
Your default mindset wants the path of least resistance. Think about it, you’ve been in this construct of “work” for many years. Work gives you natural deadlines, expectations on a general time to get out of bed each day, maybe travel commitments, and reasons to keep your hair neat and put on a dress shirt. And then - poof - all of that is gone. Many people are surprised that without those outer expectations they’re very unsure of how to ‘show up’. I’m all for rest and rejuvenation in retirement. However, a wide open day of rest can lead to sluggish actions such as pushing off fitness or wearing the same outfit 2 days in a row (hey, who’s going to know?). Do yourself a favor in retirement and BE AWARE that this inertia pulling you to the couch is real and have a plan to counteract the slippery slope with energizing activities.
“Failure” Will Loom Larger Than “Wins”
When there’s a wide open opportunity, we tend to have SKY HIGH expectations for what we’ll deliver. Unfortunately, since there isn’t a plan to help you successfully work towards and achieve those expectations, hiccups and roadblocks are sure to arise. These challenges can easily feel like a big ole failure since you had so much hope riding on it. Instead of starting week one of retirement building confidence of your newfound freedom and life outside of work, you’re picking your confidence off the floor and feeling like you started out this new season on the wrong foot. Not fun at all. With identified actions and priorities, you can build off small wins and not even let “failure” be a word in your retirement vocabulary.
Everyone’s Questions May Crack Your Confidence
It’s not just the above “failures” of #4 that will impact your confidence, but also the pressure to look like you know what you’re doing. Even if you know the deep support and love from your family and peers, there’s an inclination to want to look good. If you feel like you’re floundering in this blank slate with no clear direction, it will easily impact how you talk about it to others. We desire competency in front of those we care about (especially if they look up to us in some way). There are expectations from others that you’ll be “crushing it” in retirement. Instead, you may be aimless, grieving, and unmotivated. That’s not fun to share with others and can easily shake up your confidence of what you’ve known to be true about yourself.
Intention Matters
You’ve maybe heard the adage, “where the attention goes, energy flows” ? Intention matters because it directs our attention. Retirement can be such a fun time of experimentation and exploration. You’ll explore hobbies that have been set aside and experiment with your personal recipe to build your best day. But, you’re not just throwing spaghetti on the wall to see what sticks. You’ll tire much faster with action that feels silly or meaningless. The way to build your ‘new normal’ in retirement is with intentional exploration of what’s important to you and brings you energy.
You’ll Start to Choose Something, Even if it’s Not Healthy For You
Hate watching games at a bar, but you got invited and have nothing else to do so you go? There are so many examples of things we know we don’t enjoy, or aren’t truly healthy for us, but we say yes because we’re not clear on what to do instead. Without defined values and priorities, it’s so easy to attach to someone else’s. Out of boredom - or fear of boredom - you may find yourself doing all sorts of things you didn’t have any desire to do in retirement. Without a plan for your unique skills, strengths, and interest, you may find yourself living someone else’s retirement. It may not only be ‘blah’ but also greatly unhealthy for you. You define your trajectory for your health. What a beautiful responsibility it is to take care of the precious temple of your body and mind! Fight the gravity of doing what other people are doing just because. Know what’s healthy for you and why this action makes sense for you. You’ll reap the rewards of this early clarity for many retirement years to come.
The 7 reasons above matter to you because what you do in the initial fresh stage of retirement matters greatly. Your first actions for physical health, social circles, and daily structure will shape much more to come.
The reality is that you do have a fresh start in this season. What a beautiful time to be creative, root into your values, and live with purpose and meaning. A blank slate won’t do that for you. Partner with loved ones, a mentor, or a Coach to develop your unique vision.
